Updated: Feb 1, 2021
Being involved in ministry for over twenty years, I have learned that it takes 80%
people skills and 20% talent to be successful. That’s right, I said 80% people skills.
Working with people is a learned skill and it is important to understand that everyone is
unique in their own way. Some people can handle harsh criticism, while others need to be
coddled. Everyone handles correction, as well as compliments differently. Some have
natural leadership qualities of their own, while others are natural followers. Varying
personalities, moods, and backgrounds make for various challenges in leadership. Then,
there is the element of working with other staff members and creating an environment of
unity and working together as a team. Matthew 12:25 (KJV) says, “And Jesus knew their
thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to
desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand.” It is essential
to establish positive relationships that create strong foundations for a healthy working
environment. This is established by creating relationship currency with the people you
Relationship Currency is defined as “currency that is generated by the
investments you make in the people in your environment (Harris, 2020).” In other words, No Deposit - No Return. Relationship currency is created by spending time with people on your team
and on your staff, getting to know them, sharing ideas with them, and working with them
on projects. There will come a time wheno you will need to make a withdrawal from your
relationship currency investment. Will there be enough deposits to allow these
withdrawals? Some relationship currency includes:
1. COMMUNICATION - The Lack of Communication is a Breeding Ground for
Negativity. Just stop talking as a team and see if there are any positive results. Don’t let
misunderstandings fester into more significant issues. You should be the one to initiate
the conversation. When initiating a conversation, it is important to start with something
positive. There is always something positive to find in every person and every situation.
Don’t get caught up in the negativity or just the problem at hand. As the leader, you set
the mood for the entire conversation. Affirmation should be done publicly and privately,
however, correction to an individual should be done privately. A mistake many leaders
make is miscommunication. Sometimes the most considerable miscommunication is
assuming that something has already happened or has been taken care of. Just because
you know it does not mean everyone else does. Overly communicate vision, passion, and
burden until your vision becomes their vision.
2. UNITY - Ps. 133:1-2 (KJV) says, “A Song of degrees of David. Behold, how good
and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious
ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went
down to the skirts of his garments;” Unity is as Precious as Anointing. Anointing flows from the top down and starts with you, the leader. If we want the anointing, we must be unified - unified in purpose, in worship, and in vision. One definition of the word singers, or shwur, in scripture, is a “wall”. A lack of unity will create a breach in the wall and allow negativity and disunity to enter into the ministry. Matthew 18:15,19-20 (AMP) says, “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens and pays attention to you, you have won back your brother. Again I say to you that if two believers on earth agree [that is, are of one mind, in harmony] about anything that they ask [within the will of God], it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in My name [meeting together as My followers], I am there among them.”
Always keeping the main goal in mind, consider these following points:
a. Who are we trying to please?” Ourselves? Our congregations? Our God?
b. Don't get caught up in trying to appease everyone.
c. Speak words of open support about other people to your congregation.
d. Remember, we are on the same team!
e. Frequently affirm your submission to your Pastor and leader. A good leader is
first a good follower. 1 Peter 5:5 (NKJV) “Likewise you younger people, submit
yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be
clothed with humility, for God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
f. If you’re a Pastor/Leader: frequently express thankfulness for respect and submission of team to the main vision
3. TRUST - "A Healthy Staff has a Trusting Leadership Culture."
Cheri Walters said in her book, Get a Giant Hat Rack, that like a marriage, the staff
relationship has to be based on trust. Once trust has been betrayed, it takes a long time for
the injured person to trust again (Walters, 1994). Mutual respect is the glue that holds a
staff together. Delegation is sometimes difficult for a leader. When delegating, give your
team member all the tools to be successful. When the team member is carrying out the
duty, trust them that they will follow through. Be careful not to put yourself in the
category of a micromanaging leader. Create a culture of excellence by giving team
members the opportunity to explore and make mistakes without judgement. Everyone has
to start somewhere and the mistakes they make will only make them stronger.
The one position you should trust the most is your Pastor/Leader.
Here are six steps to easily betray your leader's trust.
a. Discuss disagreements between you and your Pastor with members of the
b. Challenge his leadership publicly.
c. Spread abroad the news who came to see him for counseling, what was said in the
staff meeting, and other areas of confidentiality.
d. When you're thinking of leaving, let the Pastor/Leader hear it from friends, other staff, or
members before hearing it from you.
e. When you have a confrontation with someone in the church, don't tell the Pastor
about it. Let him find out through the grapevine, or better still, in a board meeting.
f. Don’t follow through on assignments or projects he asks you to do.
This is not a way to build relationship currency!!!
4. SERVANTHOOD. “Relationship, Stewardship, and Servanthood: They go Hand in
Hand.” A good leader is first a good follower. God came to serve - Jesus said in Luke 22:27 (NKJV), “For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves.” Always remember, before you are a leader, you are a servant. Paul also said in 1 Corinthians 4:1 (AMP), "Men ought to regard us as servants of Christ
and those entrusted with [stewards of] the secret things of God." Finally, David proclaimed in Psalm 100:2, “Serve the Lord with gladness.”
It is important to establish multiple levels of relationships in your ministry. Lead
by example. Communicate excitement and vision. Unify your team frequently with clear
direction and passion. Create an environment of trust. And finally, be the example of a
servant and you will be producing relationship currency.
It is essential to invest in these relationships and create a currency with each person on your team because there will come a day that you need to make a withdrawal.
Tim Hall | Executive Assistant
Calvary Pentecostal Church