The truth is that this post will never change the way we process emotion. And I don't have the power to heal all those who are deeply hurt. But it must be said, we ALL have the tendency to speak harshly to one another, or to ignore those who we're close to when we're upset. Alone, these seemingly "lite" manipulations and acts of unkindness can lead to a hurtful and possibly devastating emotional experience for one or multiple parties within a relationship, family, or group. When feelings are hurt, there is a kind of trauma that impacts the brain.
We've most likely all experienced some form of abuse. We might say "it broke my heart a little," and that is certainly felt. It's a chemical thing really. The hormones known as endorphins are produced by the nervous system to cope with pain or stress.
"The level of endorphins in the human body varies from person to person. People who have lower levels may be more likely to have depression or fibromyalgia, but more research is needed in this area." (MedNewsToday - Alana Biggers MD, MPH & Jennifer Berry)
The human being is so very sensitive. From the strongest Navy SEAL to the smartest, most stubborn, little girl there are emotions inside that once triggered, change the internal narrative that they will tell themselves, from what I like to call "the point of impact," and into the rest of their lives.
That person will never be the same person again. They are forever changed by a moment of punishment by a parent/authority figure; the harsh tone of a friend or partner; the snarky jab of a coworker, etc. Any small, seemingly harmless instrument, if sharp and positioned to puncture, purposefully or not, will cut deeper than intended, and will leave an eternal scar.
We associate abuse with beating or other more detestable assault. It is as if abuse is only this horrendous act of evil - a heinous crime that we ourselves would never be violent or malicious enough to do to those connected to us. But we need to redefine what we call "abuse" and we need to be aware of any habitual behaviors that are introduced into our relationships whether we are the abuser or on the receiving end of the abuse.
"When examining your own relationship, remember that emotional abuse is often subtle. As a result, it can be very hard to detect. If you are having trouble discerning whether or not your relationship is abusive, stop and think about how the interactions with your partner, friend, or family member make you feel." (VeryWellMind - Sherri Gordon)
Here are a few articles to consider. Even if there is not a specific behavior addressed, you may recognize some of the behavioral patterns. If you are experiencing anything like the behaviors depicted in the articles below, or if you have habits that are similar to any of the behaviors in these articles - put an END to it today. Get out of toxic relationships, or if you have the ability to stop the verbal/manipulative abuse, then please STOP!... These are bad habits that can cause long-term mental trauma.
Awareness is the first step to ending abuse! Remember violence or talking down to one another is NOT the answer.
Thank you for reading,